The Avowal (by Denise Levertov)

As swimmers dare
to lie face to the sky
and water bears them,
as hawks rest upon air
and air sustains them,
so would I learn to attain
freefall, and float
into Creator Spirit’s deep embrace,
knowing no effort earns
that all-surrounding grace.

Change me, O God, into one who trusts.  So much of Christianity is about belief in propositional statements about you.  But I want a deeper trusting relationship with you.  To stop flailing and relax and let you bear me up.  To glide knowing the you sustain me.  To float.  To relax.  Nice sounding words for one who tries so hard to perform the proper swimming stroke or to pump my wings furiously against the wind.  May I unclench, ungrasp, let go and float and glide.  Why is it so hard to trust in you?  Becuase I like to be in control.  Becuase I think I have to do it, whatever the “it” is and to figure it all out.  How tiring.  How untrusting.  How unfaithful?  But you do not condemn me, you just invite me again to float and to glide.  I am in your deep embrace.  Why is it I so often forget that?  None of my effort, none of my work, none of my trying so hard earns me anything from you.  For your grace is prevenient – already there and running ahead of me and underneath me and all around me.  I rest will rest in you.  For I trust in you.  Because I am embraced by you.

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